confusion..

I think i'm the most confused person. I literally dont know how I can go to my original self. At childhood I was the dumbest person on Earth but I evolved into a more smarter girl. But now when I think about me I have realised I dont know myself anymore, I am not the same as before and its frustrating. I end up getting into depression and feel insecure about myself. I dont know even if i was a good friend to all because I was always conserved. I have been faking a lot about myself and  I don't know how I used to be previously. I have lost myself and I don't think any one can help me.
I can't go on with that . I am trying but all my efforts are in vain. I am just tired of myself.


I look in the mirror
And see a girl standing
Her features, same as mine
Yet, i fail to recognise her.

She is more cherful and happy
While i stand here, depressed
She knows herself
Whereas i still wonder, who am i?

She has nothing to regret
Had her wishes fulfilled
And i'm so full of regrets,
that my wishes are dead.

The more i stare,
the more i'm jealous
so jealous that,
I want to rip myself apart.

I go wild
 pulling my hair,
shedding the tears
tired of the insecurities.

My heart burns
In those treacherous flames
it burns and burns
till there's nothing left.