confusion..

I think i'm the most confused person. I literally dont know how I can go to my original self. At childhood I was the dumbest person on Earth but I evolved into a more smarter girl. But now when I think about me I have realised I dont know myself anymore, I am not the same as before and its frustrating. I end up getting into depression and feel insecure about myself. I dont know even if i was a good friend to all because I was always conserved. I have been faking a lot about myself and  I don't know how I used to be previously. I have lost myself and I don't think any one can help me.
I can't go on with that . I am trying but all my efforts are in vain. I am just tired of myself.


I look in the mirror
And see a girl standing
Her features, same as mine
Yet, i fail to recognise her.

She is more cherful and happy
While i stand here, depressed
She knows herself
Whereas i still wonder, who am i?

She has nothing to regret
Had her wishes fulfilled
And i'm so full of regrets,
that my wishes are dead.

The more i stare,
the more i'm jealous
so jealous that,
I want to rip myself apart.

I go wild
 pulling my hair,
shedding the tears
tired of the insecurities.

My heart burns
In those treacherous flames
it burns and burns
till there's nothing left.

 

yeah right! the best band - LINKIN PARK

Well of course many of you wont agree with that but, that doesn't stop me from saying that.

LINKIN PARK- the band which has always got something new in store for me ( also for those who are the biggest fans) I remember when i was first introduced to one of its song NUMB by one of my friends and i fell so in love with it. It still remains my favorite and I wont even get bored if i listen to it or any LP song infinite times. Numb was the first and foremost song that i laid my ears upon and right then  my craze was for TS songs ( and it still remains). Then gradually, i discovered many more songs, expecting them to be the same. but each and every song took me by surprise! yeah their genre is all the same but they continuously evolve their songs and themselves! 

After getting acquainted with this band, i felt more at ease. Whether i laugh, cry, get hysteric, whatsoever my mood is, the songs always have a calming effect on me! (Its a rock band and it has a calming effect on me :p)
And there is CHESTER BENNINGTON doing all sorts of crazy things on and off stage both! Jumping, Screaming, doing every possible weird thing! Chester is both an angel and a monster and me (who has no interest in raps) only listen to Mike Shinoda ( not Eminem nor any other rapper). And I always end up admiring the tattoos Chester has got all over his body! LP songs were my first choice. I would list up all the songs and turn on the volume to full! Till mom would threaten to delete up the songs in my absence! ( the songs are my worthy possession).

 Recently I am in love with powerless, specially the chorus (It feels heavenly to listen to it) and Burn it down. LIVING THINGS is the most awesome album I have listened to till now. It shows how much versatility they can exhibit. Their music is just out of the world and there is no comparison. For my every mood, there is always a song that perfectly fits. I never got a chance to see them live but I don't miss a single channel of them on YouTube. IT IS THE BEST BAND FOR ME AND WILL REMAIN SO FOREVER!


Weep not for roads untraveled

Weep not for sights unseen

May your love never end

And if you need a friend

There's a seat here alongside me

The Funeral Of Love

 

i stare at you
as they put you down,
down to the lap of earth
the ground grew cold,
when the coffin of gold
touched the damp earth.

the wind it blew,
and it blew so hard
with all the strength it could muster
the clouds, they roared with so much force
causing a deafening thunder.

i stood there still,
being washed by rain
the pain, i could not bear
but ur coffin of gold,
stood out so bold
in the darkness, that made everything unclear.

the wish to depart,
was a confusing one
my soul - in pieces it was shattered
i hung my head, for my love was dead
as for me, you were everything that mattered.

then the thunder struck,
an i collapsed
unconscious to the ground
i was lying dead, by your death bed
heavy silence all around

next day, they stared
as they put someone down
someone who was covered in flowers
it was me this time,
who lay beside your grave
the painful errand finally over.



well that was a poem by me.. i know its not good but all the suggestions are welcomed :)
tilll den cya :D

well its me - _^

Well i dont know why i wrote this blog.. maybe it was just of curiosity or maybe coz i express myself better by writing.. { which i totally mess up when i am talking :p}

Here are some of the basic info about me...


NAME: Varnali Acharya ( as you all already know)


AGE: right now i'm 16 , but we all grow up na.. ;)


HEIGHT: a lil more than 5'5


ZODIAC: Tauras { 3:) }


QUALIFICATIONS: i'm a student right now but its appropriate if i call myself a learner..


FAVOURITES: music  guitars  rainbows  facebook taylorswift  friends  family       streetdancing  nailpaints  winter  youtube  biology  fairies messi and linkinpark


well thats all about me :)
cya den...